Your website is a mess.
Let me tell you why.
Paste your URL for a blunt, AI-powered roast. Roasty pinpoints exactly why your conversion rate is flat — complete with coordinate screenshot annotations, competitor showdowns, and 24/7 uptime surveillance.
Pit your site against your biggest rival
Wondering why they're getting all the signups? Put both URLs in the ring. Roasty compares hero impact, value clarity, and conversion friction — declaring a ruthless winner.
⚖️ Official Referee Roasty"Fine. It's good. The typography actually respects human vision. I'm annoyed."
"Feels like filling out government tax paperwork in 2004 with 18 competing dropdown menus."
Never let your servers crash in secret
Roasty doesn't just roast your design — he guards your uptime. Automated health probes every few minutes, millisecond latency tracking, SSL expiry radar, and emergency downtime screams.
Millisecond Latency
Response time tracked across every probe. See immediately when your backend starts degrading.
SSL Expiry Radar
Certificates expire when you least expect them. Roasty tracks your expiration date and sounds the alarm in advance.
Emergency Screams
The second 3 consecutive health checks fail, Roasty screams directly to your email so you fix it before customers notice.
"Wake up! Your server returned HTTP 502 Bad Gateway at 03:14 AM."
From complete heartbreak to grudging respect
Explore real public sites roasted by Roasty across the community.
Brutal Tier
"A visual migraine, but fixable in 2 hours."
Genuinely offended
Mediocre Tier
"Generic corporate soup, extra croutons."
Painful to watch
Approved Tier
"Fine. It's actually good. I'm annoyed."
Actually impressed
Hire Roasty to watch your site 24/7
He hates downtime almost as much as your typography. Keep him caffeinated and he'll keep your servers in line.
Get Roasted for Free
Roasty roasts you for free because he genuinely can't help himself.
No credit card. Just emotional damage.
Hire Roasty 24/7
Roasty loves coffee — 2 months free + Roasty will stay caffeinated & alert on your servers 24/7.
☕ 2 months of coffee on the house (Save $29/year)
Frequently Roasted Questions
Everything you need to know before putting your pride on the line.
Ready to get humbled?
Drop your URL below. 15 seconds to a brutal visual audit and actionable fix list.